I'm on vacation.
I decided to take it easy today and watch some TV. Where's the harm in that, right? I was flipping through the listings and oh my god, this had to be a joke. The Discovery Channel was doing a show on the Giant Squid? My first thought was that it would be about some super cool scientist who was exploring new ways of ridding the planet of the Giant Squid. Come on, I mean you've seen these things, right? Crazy eyes, razor sharp beaks, and rotating hook like suckers..... they're like something out of a sci fi movie. Oh no, this scientist (who was from New Zealand) was looking into catching Giant Squid larva and raising them in captivity.
I know what you might be thinking, this guy has to be insane.
I was wondering why the Discovery Channel would do a story on a mad scientist. Usually they do stories on interesting scientists looking to do something to better the world. It is crazy doctors like this that make the best villians in the Spiderman sequels. We are dealing with a madman.
Raise a baby Giant Squid into adulthood? Wow, I'm floored. I watched the hour long episode in fear. It did end on a sad note for the doctor but for me it opened my eyes. As hard as it was for the doctor to catch the larva in the wild it was even harder to keep them alive in captivity. Phew? The doctor then swore that it was only a matter of time until he will be able to achieve his life long goal of raising his own squid. Don't we all know why he would want to do this?
World domination.
See, first you raise the squid, then you make thousands of robot squid (see the diagram below that I stole from the internet). This picture was way too easy to find.
When I was younger I was afraid to walk alone in the dark for fear of Gene Simmons in full Kiss gear grabbing me and taking me away from my family. I'm not kidding. Now as an adult my fear of walking alone in the dark has been replaced by the giant eyes and sharp beak of the Giant Squid. I see it like a gang of sea stinking street punks just looking for their next piece of prey.
3 comments:
Be very, very afraid.
I'm gonna throw up.
First of all, think of how handy a giant squid would be around the house...take care of a few odd jobs & rid yourself of some pesky neighbors. Secondly, the scientists aren't trying to make robot squid...they are trying to cultivate & harvest the ever-so-powerful & valuable sea-spice. Of course you could rule the world with OceanPower. I am the kwisatch haderach
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